Monday, April 27, 2015

Compassion.

Just to get this on the table, I have no idea what trans people go through on a day-to-day basis. However, I do know what suicide survivors go through, because I am one. A suicide survivor is not someone who has tried suicide, we are people who have been touched by it. In my case, I lost my uncle. I don't like to bring it up because it is a part of my past but it did teach me some things that are relevant in the wake of the increasing number of trans teens who have taken their own lives.
If I learned anything from my loss and mourning, I learned how to be compassionate. I became more careful about bullying and little things I said. If I made a sarcastic jab my mind would race to the affect that it could have on another person.
People victim blame, but that just isn't the case. Depression is a serious illness. It is a sickness like any other disease, and it can manifest in many different ways. When people, regardless of gender identity reach out for help or threaten suicide, it is not a cry for attention. It is a cry for help. Before we can stop losing people to suicide, we need to find some more compassion in ourselves.
Compassion comes in many forms. All of those forms can prevent suicide. It is important to use correct pronouns. It doesn't matter if someone who you see as a girl prefers he/him pronouns. It's easy to change our speech, and that is one form of acceptance that can save a life. We need to be here for the trans community, not against it. We need to try to understand their struggles. We need to stop talking over trans people and listen. We need to be supportive both online and in person. If you see a call for help reach out, don't hang up. People today lack filters because it is so easy to troll people online. It shouldn't be. The internet can create a global community, it can be used as a tool to help people gain support and that is wonderful. When people look for that support either give it or find a new site, don't use places that should be safe to tear people down.
As a suicide survivor I am deeply saddened by the rising number of trans people who we are losing because people can't keep their thoughts to themselves. I am terrified that the families of these people are going through the same emotional roller coaster that I once went on. I am upset that we have to see more families mourn and feel as if they did not do enough. As a member of the LGBT community I am so angry that people treat our community in the ways that they do. I am appalled by the fact that there is enough hate to break through the protective barriers we have built around ourselves. And I am hopeful that in the future there will be more support, at least within our community, for people all over the LGBT spectrum.